Thats right. Wuck the feather. Figure it out.
I knew living in Worcester for my college career wouldn't be the best environment (STRICTLY because of the weather, believe me I'm all for Woo-Rats, and the Worcester State Lancers). However, this weather is borderline inappropriate.
The dog days of February and soon to be March are upon us and for many Holy Cross students, the upcoming Spring Break does not appear to be a jumpstart into leisurely summer activities like this. However, this break appears to be more of a brief hiatus from no more teachers dirty looks and alot of this at the homestead.
I'm not blaming the lack of Spring Break enthusiasm on Linda Cohn's lackluster performances on SportsCenter nor the waning remains of my Chapstick (whats good assonance), however 100% of the blame goes towards the weather.
I know, relax you don't have to tell me that only old, menopausal women would blog about the depressing weather (if they knew what a blog was). I'm just out of fresh ideas to talk about. But anyway there is no positive to the weather right now. For instance:
The Snow: If thats what you want to call the white stuff on the ground. You can't play in it, you can't push people in it or they bleed, and your can't make snowballs. It feels as though the snow has been on the ground since Thanksgiving and it just lies on the ground useless, similar to this guy's high school prom aspirations.
The Excrement: Notice I refrained to say dirt, sand, or ice. These 3 have their own category. They are all the same in this category. Despite the sand and rock that have collected on the edge of snowbanks on the side of the road to make it look like a giant mound of Cookies and Cream ice cream, the excrements that "follow you" resemble the kid in high school who never figured out you were never going to "hit him up" but he didn't care and still kept following you. For example, once you return from the dinner you notice the excrement that has followed you off of the streets and back to your room and decided to make a living all over your floor. You're not going to do anything about it, it's just going to be there until "housekeeping" comes to vacuum it up in at least a week.
What Ever Happened to Frisbee?: The most cliched thing about college... "Playing fribee in the quad with your bros while wearing a pair of either boat shoes or flip flops, while you proudly wear a tee-shirt from your bookstore." Those days aren't happening until at least Easter here in Worcester...sigh
So I'm sorry, I needed to put something up on the blog. I realize this didn't have the uumph that the last post had. Win some, lose some. But wuck the feather...if you still haven't figured what that means, scroll down to the bottom of the music video and the true meaning of the phrase will be presented upside down.
If you can't figure out what "wuck the feather" means, get up out the blog.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
This IS a Little League Blog Post
No don't worry, this isn't another post about the most "league" schools which will fuel a "stirring" 2 minute debate on why your school should have been in the top 5-or at least in honorable mention section. This is about the most innocent thing in the world...or what we thought was.
Little League. Tony the Tiger (don't worry the link isn't a picture of a Frosted Flakes box, click it) and your dad's favorite time of year is right around the corner with little league tryouts rapidly approaching. We all remember Little League as one of the best times of your life-at least I did. For instance 6th grade, or my final year of Little League, was a time in which "play dates" were playing a vital role in my life, tag was slowly losing it's lust of a way to attract girls, and getting a cell phone was in my near future. On top of all that I was able to put on a polyester uniform 2 nights a week and go out and represent my local town sponsor.
Everyone who played Little League baseball (or softball) has a memory from it. Don't lie, you know you do just think really hard. If you need some help here are some "triggers" that may stimulate your Little League memory bank:
That coach: You know him, you wish he was your dad, but at the same time you don't. This was the dad that not only wore strikingly small khaki shorts when the weather got warm, but he also had his on personal bat for hitting warm-ups with. All the players loved him, and they knew never to ask him if they were playing catcher next inning-probably because this coach had the positions already planned out on a spreadsheet hanging from the dugout wall. However when the game got into the 6th inning, this coach would be putting on delayed steals, bunt slashes, and other intricate signs that don't belong in town/recreational play (save it for the tournament big guy). But looking back on it, you realize this coach who showed off his "bulging" quads under his tiny shorts was a clown. Your memory is starting to bring you back to him jumping up and down after his team successfully completed a sacrifice fly that won them the game, nevertheless beating your team. Now you remember why you didn't want to play for him...
The Concession Stands: The concession stand was great because everyone was an All-Star at the end of the game. You could've struck out twice, had an "accident," and then made an error (at second base) to lose your team the game but who cares: free hot dogs after the game. You didn't need to worry about what "creation" your mom was making later that night for dinner because now that your game is over, your night will consist of 2 hot dogs, a red Gatorade, a Nerds Rope, 30 minutes of math homework, and finally 45 minutes of Gamecube. Sweet Dreams.
The Smack Talk: The most innocent smack talk in all of sports. For me, I remember sitting in class (with a substitute teacher obviously) and talking with my teammates and rivals about the game that night:
"So who is pitching for you tonight," says Player A
"[Insert name of Little League stud], but he can only throw 3 innings tonight," replies Player B
Player A starts to sweat because he is scared of fast pitching.
"He stinks, he can't even pitch good," says Player C, who isn't scared of fast pitching and also the teammate of Player A.
"Oh my gosh, are you serious dude? He struck out 11 guys last game," retorts player B.
Nothing like this smack talk, over a few multiplication problems...
Hitting a Home Run: The second greatest feeling, besides getting into college. For me I only hit one in my illustrious Little League career, so I remember the sequence vividly. Cam Brown was on the hill and threw one up and in... I didn't have "my bat" that day which had hit me plenty of doubles up to this point-but no home runs...the pitch was nearly at eye level...I took a mighty hack with this 31'' 17.5 oz bat and before I knew it Eric Fugleberg was digging in the woods for my lone Little League home run ball. The best part about Little League was that mechanics didn't matter in your swing, all you needed to do was get-a-hold-of one and before you knew it the opposing coach was complimenting you on the way you play the game during the handshake line.
Ok, no more. But Little Leaguers were celebrities during "tournament time" and not even getting grounded could keep you from feeling like you were on top of the world. I've been removed from Little League for almost 8 years so sorry if I got a little nostalgic, I know you're thinking about your career and memories right now so thank me later...
A shoutout to all my EGLL teammates and all other players out there who shared this as their favorite song "back in the day"...
Little League. Tony the Tiger (don't worry the link isn't a picture of a Frosted Flakes box, click it) and your dad's favorite time of year is right around the corner with little league tryouts rapidly approaching. We all remember Little League as one of the best times of your life-at least I did. For instance 6th grade, or my final year of Little League, was a time in which "play dates" were playing a vital role in my life, tag was slowly losing it's lust of a way to attract girls, and getting a cell phone was in my near future. On top of all that I was able to put on a polyester uniform 2 nights a week and go out and represent my local town sponsor.
Everyone who played Little League baseball (or softball) has a memory from it. Don't lie, you know you do just think really hard. If you need some help here are some "triggers" that may stimulate your Little League memory bank:
That coach: You know him, you wish he was your dad, but at the same time you don't. This was the dad that not only wore strikingly small khaki shorts when the weather got warm, but he also had his on personal bat for hitting warm-ups with. All the players loved him, and they knew never to ask him if they were playing catcher next inning-probably because this coach had the positions already planned out on a spreadsheet hanging from the dugout wall. However when the game got into the 6th inning, this coach would be putting on delayed steals, bunt slashes, and other intricate signs that don't belong in town/recreational play (save it for the tournament big guy). But looking back on it, you realize this coach who showed off his "bulging" quads under his tiny shorts was a clown. Your memory is starting to bring you back to him jumping up and down after his team successfully completed a sacrifice fly that won them the game, nevertheless beating your team. Now you remember why you didn't want to play for him...
The Concession Stands: The concession stand was great because everyone was an All-Star at the end of the game. You could've struck out twice, had an "accident," and then made an error (at second base) to lose your team the game but who cares: free hot dogs after the game. You didn't need to worry about what "creation" your mom was making later that night for dinner because now that your game is over, your night will consist of 2 hot dogs, a red Gatorade, a Nerds Rope, 30 minutes of math homework, and finally 45 minutes of Gamecube. Sweet Dreams.
The Smack Talk: The most innocent smack talk in all of sports. For me, I remember sitting in class (with a substitute teacher obviously) and talking with my teammates and rivals about the game that night:
"So who is pitching for you tonight," says Player A
"[Insert name of Little League stud], but he can only throw 3 innings tonight," replies Player B
Player A starts to sweat because he is scared of fast pitching.
"He stinks, he can't even pitch good," says Player C, who isn't scared of fast pitching and also the teammate of Player A.
"Oh my gosh, are you serious dude? He struck out 11 guys last game," retorts player B.
Nothing like this smack talk, over a few multiplication problems...
Hitting a Home Run: The second greatest feeling, besides getting into college. For me I only hit one in my illustrious Little League career, so I remember the sequence vividly. Cam Brown was on the hill and threw one up and in... I didn't have "my bat" that day which had hit me plenty of doubles up to this point-but no home runs...the pitch was nearly at eye level...I took a mighty hack with this 31'' 17.5 oz bat and before I knew it Eric Fugleberg was digging in the woods for my lone Little League home run ball. The best part about Little League was that mechanics didn't matter in your swing, all you needed to do was get-a-hold-of one and before you knew it the opposing coach was complimenting you on the way you play the game during the handshake line.
Ok, no more. But Little Leaguers were celebrities during "tournament time" and not even getting grounded could keep you from feeling like you were on top of the world. I've been removed from Little League for almost 8 years so sorry if I got a little nostalgic, I know you're thinking about your career and memories right now so thank me later...
A shoutout to all my EGLL teammates and all other players out there who shared this as their favorite song "back in the day"...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
This Isn't a Little League Blog Post
Okay viewers, it’s time I changed up “What’s in Ted’s Head” a little. Don’t worry I’ll be back spewing silly shit that’s borderline irrelevant in about a week (knock on wood). So over my winter break I ventured to the land of lakes of high school athletes: Carmel, NY. It was there when I used the word “league” describing various places and people. (I guess my blog has really evolved, first I started using swear words sparingly in my posts, now I’m extending my population to NY. What’s next? Will the guy who played Eduardo in the Social Network follow me on twitter?
But anyway, what’s league?
Well according to the town of Carmel who supposedly coined that term in 1999 after listening to Will Smith’s Willenium album…kidding, “league” is a certain swagger about yourself that stems from someone who’s performance is not only exemplary, but they have a sense of old school, “no bull shit” persona about them. They aren’t flashy, pompous, or anyone that would participate in killing snakes.
So, for this post me and my friend Frank Smith, who is a resident of Carmel will list our 5 most league colleges that aren’t in the big 6 conferences (Big East, ACC, SEC, Big-10, Big-12, Pac-10) or any Ivy League schools because Ivy League school’s sort of personify league.
First I must list my honorable mention schools, and give a sentence of why they don’t belong in my top 5.
Colgate: 4 out of every 5 Holy Cross students prefer Crest
Emory: Although the school is excellent, “Emory” was probably the name of the kid in your class who was first to get the TI-84 calculator in 7th grade—like come on guy, this is pre-algebra.
Rice-Phenomenal logo, however besides baseball, this school is not known for their athletics. PLUS ignorant kids do not want to attend here because the name reminds them of their least favorite starch food.
Johns Hopkins-Lax can't carry you all the way to victory, bro.
5. Pepperdine-Yes, Pepperdine. The school by the sea. Okay for one this school is located on a cliff in Malibu so even though the MTV show “The OC” that was on in 8th grade took place here does not (by the motherfucking transitive property) make my girl LC “league.” Did you know that the Mowry Clan attended Pepperdine? Although Tamera and Tia don’t look EXACTLY alike even if though they’re twins, which is kind of fucked up because Tia is so much hotter, Taj Mowry saves the day through his performance in "Smart Guy." One of the most league TV shows ever. Pepperdine’s academics are better than I thought, according to College Board, requiring over a 550 in each of the SAT sections, however their athletes SCREAM average: Doug Christie, Mike Fetters, Noah Lowry, and the once solid Randy Wolf.
4. Richmond-Home of the Spiders and the capital of the most league state out there: Virginia. Richmond is not only a gorgeous campus but a perennial threat in the Atlantic-10 conference. Some of Richmond's alumni range from Brian Jordan (who played not only in the MLB, but he NFL as well), MLB Mr. Nice Sean Casey, the CEO of Miller Brewing Company, and Todd McShay. This school has not only spit out some B+ alumni, but its also more difficult to get into than people think (median SAT scores range from 1820-2020).
3. Tufts-The only thing not league about Tufts is their color scheme: Baby Blue and Brown. Bleh. Located just outside of Boston, Tufts is one of the hardest schools to get into. You don't believe me? Tufts has been asked many of times to join to Ivy League but they say Fuck You to any ra-ra Yale vs. Harvard bullshit. Tufts accepted under 1/4 of their applicants this past year, which gives them more of a "fuck you we won't expand our school" feel. The only things keeping Tufts out of the 1 & 2 spots is their athletics, though solid in D3 is still D3. Also their only notable alumni besides Meredith from Who Wants to be a Millionaire is the guy who invented eBay.
2. Army & Navy-You kind of have to put these 2 together. Sorry Air Force. But the Army vs. Navy game I went to was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Army owns the rite to one of the coolest uniforms ever. In the grand scheme of things, what's more old-school than fighting for your country? Leauge. I'm not sure how I feel about Navy's triple option offense though, I'm not sure if I will be tarred and feathered for saying that. The only thing holding back Army & Navy for getting the number 1 spot on my list is that I don't go there...sorry my blog my rules.
1. College of the Holy Cross-Now that you've finished reading this, it's almost as anti-climactic as watching Tedy Bruschi choose the winner of a Patriots vs. anyone opponent. But HC is the most league school out there. We're purple, and purple was league and noble since the Phoenicians were secreting purple dye out of the murex shell back in 1200BC. League. Holy Cross also was not only an old school power threat back in the days of Bob Cousy and Tom Heinsohn, but we continue to dominate the Patriot League. Did you know only Holy Cross and UCONN are the only schools in New England to win a national D1 basketball championship? Alumni range from renowned sports writers like Bill Simmons to Dan Shaughnessy to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and Obama's speech writer Jon Favreau then to Chris Matthews who host's Hardball, no not the one with Keanu Reaves.
Phew okay bring on the hate mail from that post. But before you listen to a once great song, check out Frank Smith's blog.
Creators of Now 5 are rolling around in their grave:
But anyway, what’s league?
Well according to the town of Carmel who supposedly coined that term in 1999 after listening to Will Smith’s Willenium album…kidding, “league” is a certain swagger about yourself that stems from someone who’s performance is not only exemplary, but they have a sense of old school, “no bull shit” persona about them. They aren’t flashy, pompous, or anyone that would participate in killing snakes.
So, for this post me and my friend Frank Smith, who is a resident of Carmel will list our 5 most league colleges that aren’t in the big 6 conferences (Big East, ACC, SEC, Big-10, Big-12, Pac-10) or any Ivy League schools because Ivy League school’s sort of personify league.
First I must list my honorable mention schools, and give a sentence of why they don’t belong in my top 5.
Colgate: 4 out of every 5 Holy Cross students prefer Crest
Emory: Although the school is excellent, “Emory” was probably the name of the kid in your class who was first to get the TI-84 calculator in 7th grade—like come on guy, this is pre-algebra.
Rice-Phenomenal logo, however besides baseball, this school is not known for their athletics. PLUS ignorant kids do not want to attend here because the name reminds them of their least favorite starch food.
Johns Hopkins-Lax can't carry you all the way to victory, bro.
5. Pepperdine-Yes, Pepperdine. The school by the sea. Okay for one this school is located on a cliff in Malibu so even though the MTV show “The OC” that was on in 8th grade took place here does not (by the motherfucking transitive property) make my girl LC “league.” Did you know that the Mowry Clan attended Pepperdine? Although Tamera and Tia don’t look EXACTLY alike even if though they’re twins, which is kind of fucked up because Tia is so much hotter, Taj Mowry saves the day through his performance in "Smart Guy." One of the most league TV shows ever. Pepperdine’s academics are better than I thought, according to College Board, requiring over a 550 in each of the SAT sections, however their athletes SCREAM average: Doug Christie, Mike Fetters, Noah Lowry, and the once solid Randy Wolf.
4. Richmond-Home of the Spiders and the capital of the most league state out there: Virginia. Richmond is not only a gorgeous campus but a perennial threat in the Atlantic-10 conference. Some of Richmond's alumni range from Brian Jordan (who played not only in the MLB, but he NFL as well), MLB Mr. Nice Sean Casey, the CEO of Miller Brewing Company, and Todd McShay. This school has not only spit out some B+ alumni, but its also more difficult to get into than people think (median SAT scores range from 1820-2020).
3. Tufts-The only thing not league about Tufts is their color scheme: Baby Blue and Brown. Bleh. Located just outside of Boston, Tufts is one of the hardest schools to get into. You don't believe me? Tufts has been asked many of times to join to Ivy League but they say Fuck You to any ra-ra Yale vs. Harvard bullshit. Tufts accepted under 1/4 of their applicants this past year, which gives them more of a "fuck you we won't expand our school" feel. The only things keeping Tufts out of the 1 & 2 spots is their athletics, though solid in D3 is still D3. Also their only notable alumni besides Meredith from Who Wants to be a Millionaire is the guy who invented eBay.
2. Army & Navy-You kind of have to put these 2 together. Sorry Air Force. But the Army vs. Navy game I went to was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Army owns the rite to one of the coolest uniforms ever. In the grand scheme of things, what's more old-school than fighting for your country? Leauge. I'm not sure how I feel about Navy's triple option offense though, I'm not sure if I will be tarred and feathered for saying that. The only thing holding back Army & Navy for getting the number 1 spot on my list is that I don't go there...sorry my blog my rules.
1. College of the Holy Cross-Now that you've finished reading this, it's almost as anti-climactic as watching Tedy Bruschi choose the winner of a Patriots vs. anyone opponent. But HC is the most league school out there. We're purple, and purple was league and noble since the Phoenicians were secreting purple dye out of the murex shell back in 1200BC. League. Holy Cross also was not only an old school power threat back in the days of Bob Cousy and Tom Heinsohn, but we continue to dominate the Patriot League. Did you know only Holy Cross and UCONN are the only schools in New England to win a national D1 basketball championship? Alumni range from renowned sports writers like Bill Simmons to Dan Shaughnessy to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and Obama's speech writer Jon Favreau then to Chris Matthews who host's Hardball, no not the one with Keanu Reaves.
Phew okay bring on the hate mail from that post. But before you listen to a once great song, check out Frank Smith's blog.
Creators of Now 5 are rolling around in their grave:
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