Not in Million Years

Sorry for the brief hiatus people, not like many of you cared anything. But despite my "tough skin" and affinity for writing blogs with "witty" links, I'm back and going about as hard as clifford the big red dog in a case race...there will never be a link to depict that image.

Recently, I was poisoned with the song & dance formally known as "The Dougie." No don't worry I'm not in that much of a hole at Holy Cross where I didn't previously know about this rip-roaring rage that was sweeping across various Homecoming Dance playlists along with 17 year-old Facebook statuses, however I finally listened to the song in its entirety. Holy trix cereal (for lack of a better phrase). "Crank That" by Soulja Boy not only had a better dance, but was a better song, and that song was ridiculed by many. If someone wanted to "teach me how to dougie," I would simply have to refuse the invitation because it would just be a shot to my pride.

Other things myself, nor anyone I hope I'm ever associated with, never do...

Insest: Shit's gross dude. No one in this day in age wants to see that go on. Even Oedipus thought it was weird when him and his mom GOT IT ON. Just think if Maggie and her beloved Ferocious Beast ever did something like that, it just wouldn't be right. Another example...Louis and Ren Stevens. One of your favorite childhood shows would be ruined and you would be left questioning your entire childhood...talk about a tragedy.

Farting in Church: Unless you were Tucker Max, this guy, or Satan himself, there is no excuse for poisoning god's house with your methane. Even if you aren't relgious, it's just one of those moral things you don't do.

Attend a Clay Aiken Concert: Just not something I wouldn't want to be around....

Joining the Taliban: Uhh...yeah

Give a Press Conference for the Arizona Cardinals: Ok the NFC West is a joke of a conference, we know that. Football prowess is not something valued by certain teams, however one thing that no other organization can surmount is the press conferences given by members of the Cardinals over the years. Following an act like this that pleases an entire internet population is almost as hard as being Brett Favre.

Alright so I guess me and Julie Andrews collaborated and while she created "Her Favorite Things" that were seen in the Sound of Music, my wimpy "Not so Favorite Things" will light up the blog-world about as effectively as Christmas tree lights on a CITGO gas station.

Cream collored ponies, and crisp apple streudals...