The Pablo Sanchez of East Greenwich

As the weather starts to become normal again, and Axel the Avenger comes out of hibernation, more and more kids are starting to go back outside to "play." Whether you call it "play," "chill," "lamp," "bro-out," or "frolick," you can't deny that you are sick of your 51-kill streak on COD and now you want to go outside and drive around in various fast food parking lots. Or maybe you want to go outside and be a part of pick-up-sports.

Pick-up-sports are not like organized team sports that are comprised at the high school level. There are no fixed teams in pick-up-sports. However, pick-up sports-are just as competitive.

You weren't a true kid unless you played some sort of Backyard Sports game as a kid. Backyard Baseball was the pinnacle of these games. Sure backyard soccer, football, and basketball made their respective runs, but baseball was the greatest. Who didn't love the adrenaline rush when you struck out the kid version of Alex Rodriguez on a fireball while you played with Keisha Phillips? However, the backyard sports Heisman, All-American, or Gatorade Player of the Year was Pablo Sanchez. Pablo was good at everything he touched, despite not being able to speak a word of English. I guess this was Backyard Sports' way of showing that you could succeed in America without being literate in the English language...so we'll therefore blame Backyard Sports for America's immigrant problem.

But in East Greenwich, it takes a certain skill to be good at a backyard sport. Whether the game is miniball, wiffle ball, "pool wiffle," four-square, or frisbee the "jocks" aren't always the best at these games. You need to be a wily veteran to be successful. Eight years of saturday afternoons spent on a friends driveway or backyard deems you a wily veteran. Who cares if you spent eight years playing organized baseball, basketball, soccer, hockey, or football that doesn't make you the "Pablo Sanchez" of East Greenwich.

So as the grass greens, and everyone starts to come out of their house, keep your eye out for the true Pablo Sanchez of East Greenwich backyard sports. He could be a 3'4'' pot-bellied hispanic kid, or the kid you never expected to be good at sports.

Waving the Bubble Wand

Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid?
You did?
Well he's asking for you, he's back in town.....


A dozen Division 1 basketball teams are sitting on pins and needles this weekend hoping that their school makes the “big dance.” These "bubble teams" can only hope that their season pays off Sunday when/if they are chosen for the 2010 Men’s Basketball NCAA Tournament.

Joe Lunardi, the ESPN’s “Bracketologist” has been deciphering which teams he thinks deserves to be chosen for this year’s NCAA tournament. He has been going through these “bubble” team’s strength of schedules, good wins, bad losses, and RPI for the past 3 months predicting who are the “Last 4 In” and the “Last 4 Out.”

So for all of the AVID FOLLOWERS OF THIS BLOG, or the teams that are sitting in their locker room tomorrow hoping that their bubble doesn't burst, I will assume Joe Lunardi’s job and give you my bubble teams...rather “situations” for Ted Cullinane’s own “2010 Life Tournament.”

Don't ask what RPI is. No body knows what it really does.

My “Last 4 In”
...otherwise known as the things, in your life that you want out of your life, however you know deep down you need them.
Asparagus
RPI: Vegetable
Good Wins: Fantastic broiled with olive oil, salt, & pepper. Great side dish.
Bad Losses: Makes your pee smell. Name is wierd
White Tube Socks
RPI: Cotton
Good Wins: Feel fantastic on the feet when they get out of the dryer, Socks give you dry feet which eliminate blisters
Bad Losses: They make you look like you're from the 1970s
Soccer Moms
RPI: "You will eat organic food before your game this afternoon, Doritos won't get you a scholarship."
Good Wins: Will make Pizza Rolls whenever son's guests want, Love the extra space in the Minivan, Weekend Under Armour + Sports bra combo
Bad Losses: Mom, enough with the orange slices.
Rain
RPI: Precipitation
Good Wins: Makes great Hilary Duff music videos
Bad Losses: Floods basements

My "Last 4 Out"
...otherwise known as the things in life that had a good run, but really what's the point now?
Mustaches
RPI: Pedafile
Good Wins: Rollie Fingers, Saves left over food (the Flavor Saver)
Bad Losses: Prickly on the lips, Hi I'm Ted Flanders!
Olives
RPI: PITiful..haha
Good Wins: None. There is nothing good about an olive.
Bad Losses: What is it? Is it a vegetable?
Non Hi-Def TVs
RPI: Prehistoric
Good Wins: Will sell in ten years as antiques.
Bad Losses: By now, technology has produced the 3D TV, your non HD is as old as Mrs. Finster.
Wearing Sleeveless Shirts over the age of 35
RPI: GLORY DAYS
Good Wins: Good conversation starter for single guys/ladies at the gym. Good conversation starter for others to laugh at you.
Bad Losses: It's called the back nine of your career for a reason. Your tricep just looks like a one-sep.


That Hilary Duff Video...

WAIT! don't go yet.

Recently, in my Mass Communications and the Media class, (mass comm for all you high school class-loving-acronym users) I read two articles regarding the short attention spans of readers these days. But it's true! The article was not another tiresome, tedious, treacherous (whatup alliteration) "busy-work assignment" given by the teacher. Many of you have already stopped reading this because one of these thoughts are going through your mind:
A: FACEBOOK MESSAGE
B: TEXT
C: These bloggers need to get off their soapboxes
D: Time to switch the song...
E: ANOTHER TEXT!
F: Both B & E

Now, for those of you who endured those perpetual, DIFFICULT outside distractions, I tell you that reader's attention spans are diminishing. Less and less students can actually they have read a book cover to cover in school. What's a book?

Everyone receives all their necessary information through Facebook or Twitter. No one will read long online passages that are filled with drone scholarly information.

However you can't blame the short attention spans ENTIRELY on the youth....hey look a butterfly...

But in all seriousness, the media is the one controlling us. We are forced to conform to quick internet banter on sites like facebook, twitter, myspace (PEDAFILES UNITE!), or other public online chatrooms (chatroulette.com). Only the brave souls dare to venture into long deep articles pertaining to the meaning of life, healthcare issues, the middle east, EGHS football coach controversy and then actually complete the article where the reader is able to form an opinion.

So congratulations to all of you who have made it through this article. Consider yourselves one of the smarterer readers and thinkerers on the streets. Keep up your good work.