EGHS’s Onion: What is living in our Courtyard?

For decades now, Axel the Avenger has been lurking in East Greenwich High School’s courtyard. Did you know that this “hot mess” of a creature has been reading over your shoulder in the library? Did you know that Axel is the first in the class to raise his hand to answer a question asked by Señor Mack? Or did you know that he sits front row during every Ivy Day ceremony with a cap and gown on, even though he isn’t graduating?
The history of Axel started fifty years ago, during a chemistry lab, two students, whose names will be kept confidential for security purposes, mixed too much Sodium Chloride with Magnesium Sulfate. They heated the substances together and left the precipitate in the Petri dish over night. However, the students didn’t realize that they wouldn’t be returning to school for another week because school was closed for winter break. The substance was able to grow for a whole week since the Petri dish wasn’t cleaned after the experiment. When the students returned to school after the New Year, their petite precipitate in the Petri dish was now a gigantic ghoul of a creature that disappeared from the Chemistry room and slithered itself into the courtyard.
Axel strictly lives within the confines of the courtyard. He is not allowed to leave the brick walls of EGHS because he is thought to be a detriment to society. In 1989, Axel escaped from the courtyard just before last period started. He trudged his way up Avenger Drive and down Middle Road towards EG Deli. Instantly, all East Greenwich public schools shut down. Students were confined within the walls of their school and parents were urged to not leave their homes. State officials were brought in to capture Axel and put him back in the courtyard. Axel was threatened to be “put down” for safety reasons if he escaped again. However, evidence showed that Axel’s only motivation for leaving the courtyard was that he was looking for a high-five from the cashier at EG Deli.
Despite Axel’s ugly exterior, he is a genuine creature with a heart of gold. In 2003, Axel was patrolling the courtyard, bored one afternoon. Sources say that the “beloved chemical reaction” was tanning one spring afternoon when he heard a scream from the top of building. Construction workers were on top of the building fixing one of the many leaks in the roof when one of the workers slipped and was dangling over the side of the building. Acting quickly, Axel scaled the side of the building and rescued the worker from falling. The befuddled worker asked Axel if Axel was a super hero. Axel simply responded with: “Oopty Loopty Blimey Ketchup.”
Axel has been hibernating all winter and is set to wake from his deep sleep towards the end of March. There is an old East Greenwich tale stating that if Axel sees his shadow when waking up from hibernation, then each spring sports team will have a winning season.
So as you have almost completed reading this article, many of you may be wondering: “How come I haven’t seen Axel?” or “What does he look like?” or “What is going on in this article?” Well I can answer two of those questions for you. Have you ever noticed the gooey-brown substance on the ceilings? That’s Axel. These gooey-brown findings are predominantly spotted in the ceiling of room 211, or in the art wing hallway ceilings. Those are just some of his remnants that have collected within the school over the past 50 years.
As we prepare for another spring at EGHS, make sure to look out for Axel. He has been a part of East Greenwich High School history for fifty years and is a figure head within the town. If you see him in the courtyard during a photo class make sure to give him a hug and a hand pound. If you’re ever writing poetry on one of the courtyard benches, he’ll come and join you if you have a Double-Stuffed Oreo cookie for him. Unfortunately his waking will not be televised so students and faculty will be notified through word of mouth if he saw his shadow or not. So as the second semester continues and the trees begin to bloom, keep your eye out for Axel the Avenger, East Greenwich High School’s fifty-year old mascot.