Holy Residence Hall

College residence halls are usually a hit or miss thing. For instance, you could be boys with some tight football players that make you think you're an absolute boss cause you're one of the guys. Or you could live with a bunch of bio/pre-med geeks that spend their time playing Halo. Or you could live near a bunch of studs who feel like super mash brothers is the greatest thing since four lokos.

However despite your university, all residence halls posses all of these components. Whether they are athletes, geeks, or lacrosse bros, they all play a pivotal role in the success of your residence hall...notice how lax bros are not considered athletes (if you play lax and you're pissed at me for not considering you as an athlete because you're a "chill" lax bro...well you just proved my point).

I've touched on the "college" aspect of the new faces and people I've seen since attending Holy Cross, however it's hard to escape the hilarioustiy (coin that shit Webster) of some of the kids living merely feet away from me.

For example just last night as I went to take a shower, I noticed a noob puking. Shocker. He wasn't on his knees either, he was on his side puking while his limp feet dangled out from under the stall like those of a puppet (my poetry descriptive imagery is starting to pay off...). Soon the RA's came in and got scared so they called public safety. Long story short this kid was so drunk he claimed that he knew his rights and that he didnt have to come out of his personal puke laden stall and adhere to the directions of the cop. This was quite a sight for me while I brushed my teeth...

But back to the hilarioustiy about residence halls...alright they really arent that funny but if you can ever notice what people have going on around you, please do so. For instance...

The Posters: We know you love Entourage. You dont need a poster to prove you're different than any other guy. Believe me it wont be a turn on to a girl. The only person who would be seduced by an Entourage poster is another guy. Another common poster is that "College" poster from Animal House. The only thing more COLLEGE than that poster is the whiteboard outside your room with 3 penises drawn on it.

The Filth: Alright if my room ever resembled this, I'd never leave. However if my room was a messy and filthy as some of the rooms I've seen on campus, I wouldn't know how to live. Thank goodness I selected "tidy" as an option for my overall swagger when filling out my room assignment.

The Bathrooms: All of my younger fans reading the shrine that is my blog, appreciate the privacy in the bathrooms in your homestead because making the jump to a communal college bathroom is nothing but awkward. I never thought I'd be seeing girls in my bathroom after getting out of the shower...i guess that says alot about my self-confidence. Or, I never thought that I'd be sharing a sink with a 6'9'' basketball recruit.

For those reading this attending other various universities, just marvel at your surroundings next time you swipe yourself into your residence hall. However for now, marvel at this tasty jam (and the pathetic dialogue in the beginning)...