Sorry for the brief hiatus in my blog-posting...I'm sure all you took note of the fact that I only had one post in the month of September. So on the last day of the month, I knew I had to owe a jiving blog post to my fans ...
So after a month spent in college, I now know that many experiences we have revolve around the usage of cliches (please excuse the absence of the accent over the "e," not really worth the effort of finding, I hope my old French teacher forgives me...yes I took French for 7 years go ahead and judge me).
However, we're all guilty in using cliches in college. For instance, if you are meeting a friend of one of your friend's. You stick your hand out for a formal handshake in order to introduce youself to a girl (which are always weird and awkward) or an attempt to give "daps" with another guy. Immediately it's a race between both of you to say "It's nice to meet you" before the other one says it and looks like a doucher by echoing the other person.
It's nice to meet you
But is it really? In your head you could be thinkning, "Wow this girl's hands are grossly dry and skinny," or "Clearly this guy is drunk and just grabbed too much of my thumb with his hand while attempting to dap me up." So then is it nice to meet them?
No.
Of course not. Your first impression of them will always be his stupidity of grabbing your thumb like an old-school joy-stick, or you'll never want to hook up with this girl, no matter how good she looks in her default Facebook picture, or how big her ass looks in her roommates black dress that's really a size too small...but who is judging?
Another cliche we ALL use is the imfamous conversation starter.
"Yo what are you doin?"
"Chillen"
Chillen
What are you a Totino's Pizza Roll? Did you just get out of the toaster oven and need some time to cool off before you scald the roof of a mouth? What does chillen actually mean? Is it another way to say: "I'm not doing anything except looking at Facebook pictures of my old girlfriend/boyfriend. And I most definitely don't want to talk to you because you stole 6 shots out of my handle last week and then decided to leave my dorm room and go off and do something else with other people." Chillen is a more polite way of saying something like that, so we have decided to make it omnipresent in our lexicon.
Finally, the last cliche we all tend to use is when talking about college. For instance:
"Hey, OMG I haven't talked to you in so long, how's college?!?"
"It's good, I love it."
I love it
Yes, once again we've all said it, myself included. The act of loving college. How COLLEGE of a statement. Of course you love college. You are on your own and can do virtually whatever you want. The campus is your oyster as you experience it with your mac book laptop, 24-pack of Poland Springs water, a box of Cheez-Its, and a new bed comforter. What isn't to love? However, instead of explaining all the things you have enjoyed in college, you simply say "I love it."
That's all folks. Enjoy your weekend. I leave you with something we should never forget in our days of living...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I've so far survived my first 3 weeks while living at Holy Cross, And since then I've seen and experienced my fair share of COLLEGE experiences.
These COLLEGE experiences are situations that one would typically see on a college campus...
1. Being “that kid”: Everyone warns you not to be that kid when you go off to school. 83% of the time, this "kid" is the 5’10’’ 160 pound white-adolescent male who decides to treat tequila shots like dining hall chocolate milk. He obviously has never drank alcohol before and the closest thing he came to alcohol was when he watched high school health videos about how to drink responsibly. 3 hours later after giving "daps" to random RAs and other lacrosse players, he's on his side puking on a girl that he barely knows from his Calc class.
2. Bringing Average-Looking Girls/Guys Back to your Room: After the first few weeks of classes, you’re starting to get a little nervous and self conscious about yourself because you’re either not doing well in your psych 101 class and you have no clue why, or you haven’t scored any Mid-Atlantic tail. So, you decide to facebook IM a random freshman that you’ve never talked to before, and sure enough they are in the same "i hate myself" predicament as you. WHO KNEW?!? Within 3 days the average guy/girl is spending most of their time in your hall, and you’re constantly stuck looking at a 6.8.
3. Puking: I know I touched on this a bit before, and don’t worry I won’t stay on the idea for too much longer, HOWEVER, after 3 weeks of college, I feel it safe to say that college freshmen don’t give a hoot about what other people think about them. For instance, just the other night, 2 puddles of throw-up sat stagnant on my hallway linoleum floor. Obviously the culprit was a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins and thought that no one living one door across from his mess would care that the hallway would smell like puke for the next day. However the worst part about this situation is that there is a 89% chance that this kid fulfilled all 3 of the previous COLLEGE experiences. By "puking" he automatically became "that kid" and he was most definitely with an "average looking girl" earlier in the night and he wanted to impress her (for who knows what reason) by how many shots he could take.
4. Staring at the Janitors: True this one is a little cruel, but it is still college. If you, you're friend, Mario Lopez, or anyone else on your floor ever get the chance to stare at a janitor...do it. They wont disappoint.
5. Playing Rap Music Really Loud: Yup, we get it, you're on the football team, you love wearing beaters and talking to people from your high school on facebook. But most of all you want to let the whole hall know that you love Dr. Dre, but only the Dr. Dre songs that were made in the time period when he was with N.W.A.
I want to let all my readers know that I was never a part of these situations. I couldn't have been because I was too busy observing what really goes on in college outside of classes. Now of course I am not including all the little nuances that make college fun, but I thought I'd provide all of you with just a little "shot" of college....yes the pun was intended.
These COLLEGE experiences are situations that one would typically see on a college campus...
1. Being “that kid”: Everyone warns you not to be that kid when you go off to school. 83% of the time, this "kid" is the 5’10’’ 160 pound white-adolescent male who decides to treat tequila shots like dining hall chocolate milk. He obviously has never drank alcohol before and the closest thing he came to alcohol was when he watched high school health videos about how to drink responsibly. 3 hours later after giving "daps" to random RAs and other lacrosse players, he's on his side puking on a girl that he barely knows from his Calc class.
2. Bringing Average-Looking Girls/Guys Back to your Room: After the first few weeks of classes, you’re starting to get a little nervous and self conscious about yourself because you’re either not doing well in your psych 101 class and you have no clue why, or you haven’t scored any Mid-Atlantic tail. So, you decide to facebook IM a random freshman that you’ve never talked to before, and sure enough they are in the same "i hate myself" predicament as you. WHO KNEW?!? Within 3 days the average guy/girl is spending most of their time in your hall, and you’re constantly stuck looking at a 6.8.
3. Puking: I know I touched on this a bit before, and don’t worry I won’t stay on the idea for too much longer, HOWEVER, after 3 weeks of college, I feel it safe to say that college freshmen don’t give a hoot about what other people think about them. For instance, just the other night, 2 puddles of throw-up sat stagnant on my hallway linoleum floor. Obviously the culprit was a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins and thought that no one living one door across from his mess would care that the hallway would smell like puke for the next day. However the worst part about this situation is that there is a 89% chance that this kid fulfilled all 3 of the previous COLLEGE experiences. By "puking" he automatically became "that kid" and he was most definitely with an "average looking girl" earlier in the night and he wanted to impress her (for who knows what reason) by how many shots he could take.
4. Staring at the Janitors: True this one is a little cruel, but it is still college. If you, you're friend, Mario Lopez, or anyone else on your floor ever get the chance to stare at a janitor...do it. They wont disappoint.
5. Playing Rap Music Really Loud: Yup, we get it, you're on the football team, you love wearing beaters and talking to people from your high school on facebook. But most of all you want to let the whole hall know that you love Dr. Dre, but only the Dr. Dre songs that were made in the time period when he was with N.W.A.
I want to let all my readers know that I was never a part of these situations. I couldn't have been because I was too busy observing what really goes on in college outside of classes. Now of course I am not including all the little nuances that make college fun, but I thought I'd provide all of you with just a little "shot" of college....yes the pun was intended.
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