An artist stares at a blank canvas for sometimes weeks at a time, a sophomore boy stares down his less than threatening first year social studies teacher for sometimes minutes, but me, I stare at a blank computer screen wondering what to write about for days.
Finally, I decided to write something and please all my true loyal fans. I now know my blog is now more popular than a D3 quarterback due to the blog's 2300 views. Lets keep this train moving people. Our next goal is to gain as much team-blog spirit as a below average college football team. WE CAN DO IT!
The only way to gain more popularity and camaraderie as a blog family is to write about things that everyone can relate to.
Dunkaroos: There was no greater feeling than un-zipping your LL Bean lunchbox and finding a fresh capsule filled with frosting (alliteration anyone), accompanied by wafer cookies shaped like kangaroos. Your entire lunch table immediately became envious of you the instant you raised them over your head in happiness. The best part about the treat was when you finished all the cookies and you had a crap ton of frosting left. Most losers would throw the frosting away, these losers still probably carry the same LL Bean lunchbox to high school lunch where they look forward on opening up their thermos to find a luke-warm cup of chicken and rice soup from dinner the night before. BUT ANYWAY, the best part about your Dunkaroos was plunging your finger deep into the capsule of unfinished frosting and licking the remaining sugary goodness off of your finger. But the fun kept on coming, the next best part was finding remaining sugar deposits stuck to the sides of your fingernails later during school and treating your index finger like it was a popsicle during the boring busy work math sheet about multiplication.
Cartoon Characters: I don't want to sound like a parent by saying that "My generation of cartoons was the best. The Road Runner, Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fud, and umm uh Donald Duck." That's it? That's the depth of your cartoons? Anyone who grew up in the 90s and early 2000s can say that they lived through the best cartoon period of all time. Otto Rocket, Doug Funny, Skeeter Valentine, Arnold, Helga Pataki, Tommy Pickles, Phil & Lil, Norbert and Dagget Beaver, and Catdog...they are last for a reason. But seriously I left out so many other cartoon characters...sorry Jimmy Neutron. Our cartoons were phenomenal. I blame the decline of great cartoons on one show: Dora the Explorer. Ever since then, television became politically correct...Thanks alot Bin Laden.
Pornography: Ah..nvm.
Orange Soda: Name one person who doesn't like Orange Soda. Maybe this guy, but other than that everyone loves Orange Soda. It's so good I guess it's a proper noun hense my inadvertant capitalization of the O and S. Some people have their own opinions about Coke vs. Pepsi, but whenever you can't come to a drink agreement with your friends over your Domino's Pizza, the common response is: "Fuck it, let's just get Orange Soda."
Shrek: Yeah I went there. Everyone has seen Shrek. Boy, girl, mother, father, or David DeJesus. And as much as it kills you to quote Shrek, you find yourself doing it once every 6 months. NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS.
Some Morree Summerrrr (I'm doing my best impression of a 15 year old girl's facebook album name). And no, I'm not talking about summer vacation, although summer vacation is awesome. I'm talking about the one and only Summer Sanders, whoops wrong Sanders. This is her. You all remember Summer from her appearances on Nick Gas. She was all about Slime Time Live. Ever since 2004 her career has gone down hill unfortunately, but there is a positive from her decline in television and that is the rise of Erin Andrews.
So there it is fans, the artist's canvas has been painted, the sophomore boy finally lost to his teacher and got a dentention slip and on his way to the office packed a lip of Grizzly Mint in the bathroom, BUT most of all my blog has been completed.
But as always, I leave you with a random music video. The one hit wonder herself...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I Like All Types of Music but...
Christian Rock?
No. The expected answer would be country. Many of you despise country music for whatever reason. Is it because you "don't want to hear some guy singing at a bar about why he lost his girlfriend or has no money?" Okay, even though this song pinpoints that situation exactly, not all country music is like that.
Country music tells a story. The lyrics of any country song would send Nicki Minaj to Pleasure Town by how true a story may seem.
Despite my 2,000 views (yippee!), I feel like I have the same 12 readers. And I love all 12 of you like that favorite Bic ball-point pen that you use in class everyday...yeah you know what I'm talking about. However, there are the constant slam pieces that check the shrine that is tedcullinane.blogspot.com, and tickle me pink if any of you girls have never listened to Taylor Swift. For this blog post we'll call her style of music "country"...itunes has my back on this as well.
So girls, tell me that a senior boy has never winked at you when you were a freshman and said "I haven't seen you around here," only then to lead you on and swipe away your V-card faster than you could say "did you at least pull out?"
And boys, you're trying to tell me that you've never said "I'm pretty good at drinking beer?" Yes, this song actually exists. Check it out its by Billy Currington. If you still think that country music doesn't tell a story about you, well first of all you're never going to get invited to a keg party, and secondly Kenny Chesney's new song "Boys of Fall" talks about what it's like to play on a high school football team. Yeah, I'm not making this up, he actually sings about what it is like being on a high school football team.
Now if you're still thinking, "Oh boy I really have him on this one. Ted will never pinpoint a song that describes a story in my life," well you're right because it's just not worth my effort at this point.
However, if you are starting to second guess country music and you want to give it a try during the summer, which in fact is the best time of year for country music, I will now list off a few country jingles that you might like. Don't worry this won't be like any music reviews found in any High School newspaper's "Entertainment" section, or a lame Robert Pattinson celebrity playlist found on itunes.
"Chicken Fried" (Zac Brown Band)- This song popped my country music cherry about a year and a half ago. It's catchy, and it makes you want to live in Georgia.
"I Love your Love the Most" (Eric Church)- Any Eric Church is phenomenal, this song epitomizes country music.
"Two Pink Lines" (Eric Church)- Yes, another great Eric Church song. Although I hope this song never described a story in your life, the lyrics are funny and you can actually understand them.
"Red Dirt Road" (Brooks and Dunn)- Try finding where your Red Dirt Road is. Maybe Goddard Park? Academy Field?
That's all I'll give you now. Believe me I worked hard on finding user friendly songs, so trust me and try them out. So now I leave you with the random blogpost music video...guess what genre it will fall under?
WRONG!! Not country.
Just Random.
No. The expected answer would be country. Many of you despise country music for whatever reason. Is it because you "don't want to hear some guy singing at a bar about why he lost his girlfriend or has no money?" Okay, even though this song pinpoints that situation exactly, not all country music is like that.
Country music tells a story. The lyrics of any country song would send Nicki Minaj to Pleasure Town by how true a story may seem.
Despite my 2,000 views (yippee!), I feel like I have the same 12 readers. And I love all 12 of you like that favorite Bic ball-point pen that you use in class everyday...yeah you know what I'm talking about. However, there are the constant slam pieces that check the shrine that is tedcullinane.blogspot.com, and tickle me pink if any of you girls have never listened to Taylor Swift. For this blog post we'll call her style of music "country"...itunes has my back on this as well.
So girls, tell me that a senior boy has never winked at you when you were a freshman and said "I haven't seen you around here," only then to lead you on and swipe away your V-card faster than you could say "did you at least pull out?"
And boys, you're trying to tell me that you've never said "I'm pretty good at drinking beer?" Yes, this song actually exists. Check it out its by Billy Currington. If you still think that country music doesn't tell a story about you, well first of all you're never going to get invited to a keg party, and secondly Kenny Chesney's new song "Boys of Fall" talks about what it's like to play on a high school football team. Yeah, I'm not making this up, he actually sings about what it is like being on a high school football team.
Now if you're still thinking, "Oh boy I really have him on this one. Ted will never pinpoint a song that describes a story in my life," well you're right because it's just not worth my effort at this point.
However, if you are starting to second guess country music and you want to give it a try during the summer, which in fact is the best time of year for country music, I will now list off a few country jingles that you might like. Don't worry this won't be like any music reviews found in any High School newspaper's "Entertainment" section, or a lame Robert Pattinson celebrity playlist found on itunes.
"Chicken Fried" (Zac Brown Band)- This song popped my country music cherry about a year and a half ago. It's catchy, and it makes you want to live in Georgia.
"I Love your Love the Most" (Eric Church)- Any Eric Church is phenomenal, this song epitomizes country music.
"Two Pink Lines" (Eric Church)- Yes, another great Eric Church song. Although I hope this song never described a story in your life, the lyrics are funny and you can actually understand them.
"Red Dirt Road" (Brooks and Dunn)- Try finding where your Red Dirt Road is. Maybe Goddard Park? Academy Field?
That's all I'll give you now. Believe me I worked hard on finding user friendly songs, so trust me and try them out. So now I leave you with the random blogpost music video...guess what genre it will fall under?
WRONG!! Not country.
Just Random.
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